The Melancholy of Heroes of Newerth

Or, why human beings are stupid.

All right, the news headline contains the words “Heroes of Newerth”. I hope that has caught everyone’s attention, especially all you Dotards.

Five days after all of GameSync’s 200 HoN beta keys were given out, people are still posting on the forums requesting for a key, even though we have already posted an announcement in the forums declaring that we have none left to give.

People are also posting in the wrong comments thread of news articles that have absolutely nothing to do with Heroes of Newerth.

Now, I’m not sure if this is just a fanatical, die-hard obsession from DotA lovers desperately looking to try out the next evolutionary incarnation of their favourite past-time, or whether the fact that the majority of Dotards out there are just plain infantile idiots who can’t even read simple English. I’m more inclined to lean towards the latter, after viewing this message posted by darksol12:

can you give me a beta key for HoN.. im a female.. who is really in love in playing dota.. and after hearing about HoN, im really excted to play.. plz.. can you give me one??? T_T

my email is

[email protected]


Matafleur, our resident admin here at GameSync, decided to conduct a quick investigation into darksol12’s email address by searching for it on Facebook. Lo and behold, darksol12 is actually a guy.

I have no beef with Defense of the Ancients. I used to be an active DotA player on from 2003-2006. I can understand the appeal of DotA and why it’s so popular with the masses.

What I cannot understand, is why the majority of you DotA players continue to act like dumbasses online. You are not doing your community any good with this sort of imbecilic behaviour, especially towards the eyes of non-DotA playing outsiders.

Once again, for posterity and great justice:

1. We have no more HoN keys to give out.

2. No amount of whining, begging, and gender-bending impersonation will change this fact.

3. Your best bet to acquire a HoN beta key, is to join S2 Games’ Facebook page here and hope for another round of beta keys to be given away.

4. We have no more HoN keys to give out.

5. We have no more HoN keys to give out.

I challenge you Dotards to prove me wrong. I would like to see all this hopeless spamming (and spamming in the wrong places, of all things) to STOP. I would also like you all to practice the basic, fundamental life skill of opening your eyes to read instructions before you do anything else.

One thing that the Internet has thought me, is that Human Beings Are Stupid. I expect to be sorely disappointed again, as usual.

If you’ve managed to read the entire article until this far, congratulations. Did you know that the human body can survive for days without the stomach or spleen?

The author’s favourite DotA hero (back in the Eul versions that he played) was the Aquasoul. Robe of the Magi +6 spam ftw.

Have your say. Add your comments:

  • Matafleur


  • Neth

    LOL N1.

  • RaTsYc|-

    Instead of announcing “No more beta keys” through the forum only, maybe you could post an article or put a headline on the front page to inform individual who visits this website.

  • Matafleur

    The original giveaway article already states that it’s over.

  • dkellis

    I expected some form of Haruhi Suzumiya in this post, to be honest. False advertising, I say.

  • Glimmerous.Fop


    “I would also like you all to practice the basic, fundamental life skill of opening your eyes to read instructions before you do anything else.”

  • Flamer

    Stupidity truly has no limits.

  • LordFa9

    i vote we collect all the emails of these people and give them free subscriptions to porn newsleters

    A better idea would be to collect them and sell them to spammers but i dont know any :/

  • DomeJr


    Congrats on stooping down to their level of stupidity.
    Let this matter die down. Igniting it into an idiot war isn’t gonna solve anything.

    But if it makes you feel better, you can do whatever you voted for yourself.

    Just my $0.02.

  • DomeJr


    If those tards didn’t read the original announcements, why would they read this one?

  • Malice


  • Glimmerous.Fop


    The pen is mightier than the sword. Writing something is better than nothing.

  • LordFa9


    kindly explain the level of supidity you are referencing too.

    So i am amused by all this and am taking it lightly, at least is is better than you raging

    remember getting frustrated at the stupidity of others [b][u]IS ALSO A FROM OF STUPIDITY[/b][/u], since you can do [b][u]ABSOLUTELY NOTHING[/b][/u] about it

    So chill out

    PS: If you read this and your blood pressure shoots through the roof, you yell at the top of your lungs and bang away at your keyboard writing a reply about what a &%*&@$&*T*& idiot i am (which i’m sure you originally wanted to do before reading this paragraph) , remember that me reading it later here is just my laugh a day

    PPS: Oh just rant at me here anyway i need the laugh

    PPPS: Since we are at it, might as well add me on steam, and rant at me over voice chat, so i can record and upload it on youtube

  • DomeJr

    Lmao more walls of text.
    And you wondered why even wgh wouldnt have you.

  • LordFa9

    finally a laugh out of you 😛

    PS: TBH i dont give a shit about them not wanting me either

  • ExoWraith

    nice article

  • Malice

    Hey domejr and lordfa9.


  • LordFa9

    @ask sedated i was medding him 😉

  • Cooty


  • yahnlee

    cooty dooty mooty hooty !2#4%6&8(10

    lmao instant perma ban ftw for those new TS asking for hon keys.

  • chArlie


  • haimacks

    someone have 1 more beta key

    can you give me 1 plssss^_^

    i want to play HON but i dont have a beta key

    can you give me

    this is my email…

    [email protected]